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Conflict

Smooth Rough Leadership Edges

Every ministry leader has some rough edges. Isolation, fear, or insecurity will keep those rough edges sharp. The alternative >> engaging people, tackling complexities, and navigating confusing dynamics. But it is messy when sharp edges collide. Tough situations smooth rough edges. Relationships shine a spotlight on our flaws. It’s necessary we face these (maybe even…
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Follow the Clues to Authentic Decisions

We live in a world that pops from decision to decision. Did you know human beings make about 35,000 decisions in a day? How is it possible to be thoughtful on every decision? It is not. How do we know which ones matter most? By following the clues. The thoughts and emotions inside of us…
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How much is conflict costing you?

Oh, how we like to avoid this topic. Especially in churches and faith-based organizations where we would like to believe conflict doesn’t happen. However, people are people everywhere. Feelings get hurt. People say things they don’t mean. Expectations are left unmet. Miscommunication creates confusion. In all these situations conflict happens – either under the surface…
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5 Questions About “People Problems”

When expectations are not met, we react. A team member doesn’t pull their weight. A frustrated employee responds with a passive aggressive approach by doing the bare minimum. A project partner agrees to make a change in the meeting but afterward keeps doing things the same old way. Yep. This gets us upset. When we…
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Four Keys to Unlock Performance

I was in one of four parties seated at the same time, in the same section, with the same server. You can imagine what happened. The first party served was oblivious to the tension building. The second party flagged down the server and demanded to place her order. The third party got visibly upset and…
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Silence Isn’t Golden: Key Questions about Team Communication

Whenever people come together to work as a team, conflict should be expected. There will be differences of opinions, different ways to solve problems, alternative perspectives. Engaging in a healthy dialogue on these differences makes the team work better together – and more importantly makes decisions, results, cohesion and processes better. Productive dialogue is foundational…
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You say Potato, I Say Potahto

Communication is more than language. It is all the meaning and expectations behind the language. Our personality and how we are wired influences the meaning we assign to words, the information we notice, what we talk about and most importantly the expectations we have of others in “good communication.” Earlier this week I was putting…
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The Power of the Pause

We find a way to navigate through (or around) conflict most days until there is the one nagging situation that gets us undone or the one personality type that just sets us off. Sometimes only on the inside. You know, the conflict conversation in our head – on repeat. Conflict is not easy to manage…
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Hiding from a Tough Conversation?

Tough conversations trigger this primitive flight-fight response. Guards go up. Defensive responses pop into our head, and maybe we even put those thoughts into words. Every leader is faced with starting the tough conversation whether it’s about performance, attitude, relationships, expectations and a multitude of other topics for people who must work together. Today’s tip…
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How Much is Conflict Costing You $?

How many dollars did you spend on conflict last week? We don’t often calculate our people problems in dollars and cents. It is costing you money. It is costing you time. It is costing you results. One study showed: The average employee spends 2.1 hours a week dealing with conflict (instead of their job) One…
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